Nobody asked, but tell us anyway

“Honored to be able to namedrop my prestigious association with a notable something in relation to the thing I did, or was part of, or am associated with, or maybe just noticed, which forays into a deliberately transparent and conspicuous humble brag. Here’s to so much more!”

“Unsolicited, subjective, anecdotal statement made with scientific confidence, citing own personal experience that is extremely subjective, passive aggressively making all others feel bad about how they are doing things because they are not to the same level I did it. And my level is a very high level. There is one way to be good enough and achieve true success, as noted above. Please note. I am now using many words connoting my raw energy and contextualizing my statement as real guy, real talk, such as ‘stoke’, ‘hustle’, ‘crushing it’, ‘heads down’, and the like. Don’t be fooled, I am a normal dude, but also super exceptional.”

“Good vibes only. Shout out, shout out, shout out. I am rhetorically showing you the pathology leading me to make this statement in the first place. So excited and humbled to be here. YOLO, etc. Hashtag, hashtag, hashtag.”